Fazbear and Friends: The Lost Freddy Fazbear's Pizza Cartoon Pilot
by The Purple Meanie
Summary: Remember all those merchandise-driven shows from the '80's? Well, there's still a lot those around today, but, what if before the conversion to the Toy models, Fazbear Entertainment greenlit a pilot for an animated show based on the pizzeria? Sit back, relax, and take a bite of Freddy's pizza as we delve deep into the realm of awkwardness! Ugh, it tastes like cardboard...
1. Chapter 1

**Uh, hello? Hello? Um, hey, you want to know something interesting? Back in 1986, before the transition to the Toy models, an animation company-I forget what it was called-wanted to produce an animated series based on Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. They made a pilot for the show, which would've been called _Fazbear and Friends,_ but, before it was set to be broadcasted on television Fazbear Entertainment made the switch over to the Toy models; so, the pilot never aired since it would be outdated to feature the old animatronics.**

**I think Fazbear Entertainment and the animation company were still open to remaking the pilot, but, the Bite of '87 and the-_ahem_-other incidents dashed any hopes of a TV show for Freddy and the others. FE still has the pilot, which I'll be showing to you in a sec. This copy doesn't have the opening, which was my favorite part of the pilot because of the really catchy theme song; personally, I'm not quite sure what to make of it... it's a lot like those other cartoons at the time, it's nothing special, I guess. I wonder if Chuck E. Cheese was ever made into a cartoon... I hope not.**

_Fazbear and Friends: A Swashbuckling Birthday_

The cartoon begins in live-action, showing the viewer the Freddy Fazbear establishment in all its glory; the sun is setting, and a peaceful piano tune is playing in the background. Parents and their children, who are grinning from ear to ear, exit the building. You can barely see the Freddy, Bonnie, and Chica animatronics from inside the building waving goodbye to the families as they leave.

After a while, the building and the parking lot fade away, and is replaced with showing us the inside of the establishment, the dining area and the show stage, to be exact. Freddy, Bonnie, and Chica are in their places on top of the stage, with their microphone, guitar, and cupcake in hand. The employees are now leaving the building, and you're thinking to yourself, _I bet they don't show the poor night guard who has to come in after everyone else has left! _

The camera pans over to the three animatronics on the stage, displaying them front and center. All of a sudden, a line of animated sparkles sweeps across the screen, leaving everything in animated form but the animatronics. The sparkles, once they've reached the other side of the screen, go back the other way, this time covering the animatronics in some type of magical something or other that somehow turns them into cartoons? You _never_ knew there was a machine inside that like...

As cartoons, Freddy and his pals look less like robots and more like cutesy Disney animals; although, the animation is pretty stiff, which, in this case, could be excused. The wide-eyed characters look at each other, still wearing those sickening smiles; Freddy says to Bonnie and Chica in a voice that sounds way too high for him,

"Well, guys, what should we do tonight?" Chica tries to speak, but, is interrupted by Bonnie, who eagerly roars,

"I've been working on these _wicked _new jams! They're totally _rocking!" _You take a moment to cringe, and then Chica folds her arms with an irritated expression on her face,

"_Ugh! _Have you guys forgotten what day it is?" she grunts.

"Friday," Freddy and Bonnie reply. Chica glares at them, tapping her foot up and down. Freddy and Bonnie just stand there for a few moments, and then, Freddy exclaims with delight,

"Oh, Chica! It's your birthday, isn't it?"

"Wow!" Bonnie adds, "I, like, totally forgot!" Chica smiles, and someone else comes into view: You almost scream as the Puppet walks over to one of the tables in the dining area carrying a wrapped box; even in animated form, the Puppet is still nightmare fuel... The characters wave to it, and Chica says to it,

"Hello, Mr. Puppet! I'm glad _you _didn't forget my birthday."

"How could I?" Mr. Puppet laughs with a vaguely British accent, "It's part of my job to give out presents to the little ones on their birthdays." Freddy, Bonnie, and Chica jump off the stage and join Mr. Puppet at the table. Freddy bounces over to the kitchen, calling out to the others,

"I'll get the pizza and the cake!"

"Don't forget the soda, dude!" Bonnie shouts back. The characters all laugh for some reason, and the camera begins to pan over again, and your interest in the pilot is restoring when you realize where it's going. The camera stops in front of the curtain at Pirate Cove; a hook from the other side of the curtain pulls on it, and Foxy's head peeks out and looks around, he looks in the direction of the dining area and chuckles softly.

Three more smaller heads peek out from underneath and look in the same direction. To your dismay, the three new characters look like Huey, Dewey, and Louie-Foxy Edition. One has a baseball cap on his head, one appears to be female because of the bow on her head, and one has a paper bag over his/her head that has holes in it for eyes. Foxy points his hook towards the dining area, and growls,

"_Rwowr... _how could those landlubbers ignore _me_, Foxy, who's every bit as important as the rest of them?" The mini-me with the baseball cap points out,

"You're pretty mean to them, Uncle Foxy." Foxy glares at him, and then he grins slyly,

"Proxy, Moxie, Boxy..." he says to them, "I think it's high time we give Chica a nice present for her birthday!"

"But, Uncle Foxy!" the female mini-me, named Moxie, gasps, "Have you forgotten? We're not invited!"

"Well, we'll just invite ourselves..." Foxy replies, "I've got me a plan, so, listen closely..." His nephews and niece lean in towards him as Foxy whispers inaudibly to them, and the screen fades to black.

-DRAMATIC FADE OUT-


	2. Chapter 2

The screen fades back to show Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, and "Mr." Puppet sitting at the table, their plates each having a slice of pizza and cake on them, and they all have eager smiles on their faces. Freddy takes out his microphone and Bonnie takes out his guitar, and Freddy begins to sing the official Freddy Fazbear birthday song, which you were lucky not to have heard until now:

_Oh, we hope you're having a good time here,_

_with your friends and family near_

_so, take a bite, 'cause it's your birthday_

_today!_

Chica, who's wiping a tear from her eye, and Mr. Puppet clap appreciatively while you search for a barf bag. Chica sniffs,

"You guys are the best!" and you think to yourself, _You guys are the worst. _They proceed to garble down the food; Mr. Puppet picks up his pizza and attempts to shove it all into his mouth at once. The pizza, however, just rubs on his painted mouth, leaving behind some tomato sauce. Mr. Puppet puts down the pizza slice, and pushes his plate away towards Chica, who gladly takes it. For once, you laugh.

The scene shows the characters eating more and more pizza and cake, and the puppet-or, Mr. Puppet-looking on somewhat jealously. Finally, the characters are shown with comically large balloon bellies, leaning back in their chairs, moaning and burping.

"Since we're all finished, Chica," Mr. Puppet proposes, "Why don't you open up your presents now?" Chica excitedly sits up,

"Oh, boy! I'd sure like to! But, who's present do I open up first?" she says. Bonnie scoots his chair closer to her,

"Yo, Chica!" he chuckles, "I forgot to buy you a present, but, would you accept a kiss from me instead?" he puckers his lips. Her face burning red, Chica slaps Bonnie's face so hard he falls to the floor; Bonnie gets up, rubbing his cheek, but, he's still smiling. Freddy scolds Chica,

"Now, now, I'll have no fighting in this pizzeria, got it?" Chica and Bonnie nod. Chica goes back to her seat and picks up a birthday card,

_"Oh!"_ she squeals, "This is so nice of you guys," Chica then reads aloud, "_To our dearest friend in the whole wide world, the pizzeria would be empty without you, Happy Birthday... Love: Freddy, Bonnie, and Mr. Puppet!" _Tearing up again, she hugs all of her friends, crying, "Thank you!" repeatedly, and you feel a little warm inside. Chica then drags the box from Mr. Puppet closer to her, and she rips off the paper.

Chica parts the lids of the box and pulls out a pink sweater. She hugs it tightly with little cartoony hearts spurting from her body, "I _love _it! Thank you so much, Mr. Puppet!" she giggles,

"You're very welcome," the puppet replies. Snickering can be heard offscreen; Freddy and the others gasp while the camera pans over to Foxy and his mini-me clones, with that stock dramatic music blaring in the background.

"So, it's that Chica lassie's birthday today, isn't it?" Foxy sneers. Chica stands up, pointing at Foxy, and asks in a rude tone of voice,

"What do you want?" Foxy and his nephews and niece cackle, and Foxy answers,

"Why, we only wanted to give you a gift to celebrate this fine day!"

"You weren't invited, Foxy," Freddy points out. Foxy screams and begins stomping his feet,

_"Argh! Don't take me for a fool, Fazbear!" _His nephew with the baseball cap, presumably named Proxy, adds,

"Yeah, we know! But, you're acting like it's a crime that we showed up!" The others look at each other nervously. Bonnie then asks,

"So, like, where's your present for Chica, dude?"

"She'll have to come closer to get it!" Moxie states. Chica looks at her friends, and starts to cautiously walk over to Foxy and his relatives. She looks up at Foxy expectantly and puts on a nervous smile. Suddenly, Foxy and his minions grab Chica and pick her up, beginning to carry her out the door.

_"Not cool, dude!" _Bonnie screams as he, Freddy, and Mr. Puppet begin to chase after them. We are shown the outside of the pizzeria again, this time, everything is animated like the inside, which raises a lot of questions, when you think about it. Foxy and his goons carry the screaming Chica to a generic looking pirate ship located in the back of the building, which also raises more questions, like: Since when was there a pirate ship in the back?

Anyway, Foxy and his crew hop aboard the ship and tie Chica up on the deck. Before Freddy and the others can reach them, Foxy takes the helm, and... the pirate ship begins to fly? Still laughing evilly, Foxy and his crew steer the boat away from the pizzeria into the night sky. Freddy, Bonnie, and Mr. Puppet look on despairingly as the ship soars farther and farther away, until it can't be seen anymore.

Bonnie sits on the parking lot, putting his hands to his head as a sappy piano plays,

"Man, we messed up _bad!_" he sighs, "Who know's what they'll do to Chica?" Freddy shakes his head, saying wistfully,

"If only there were something we could do..." Everyone's silent for a few moments, and then, Mr. Puppet perks up his head and exclaims,

"We _could _do something!" he runs back inside the pizzeria, much to the confusion of Freddy and Bonnie. Mr. Puppet runs back out carrying two slices of pizza that are glowing a heavenly golden color in the night; Mr. Puppet holds them up proudly, saying excitedly, "These are the _new _Ultra-Decked Out Freddy Fazbear's Pizzas! They've got everything you could ever want in a pizza: mushrooms, anchovies, onions, and even _pineapple _if you want!"

"That's great," Freddy snarks, "How are they supposed to help?"

"Yeah, Mr. Puppet," Bonnie agrees, "I'm totally stuffed to the _max!" _Mr. Puppet explains in a serious tone,

"You don't understand! This is a _special_ kind of pizza, if you want to save Chica, you have to take a bite and let the power flow through you!"

"Power?" Freddy and Bonnie ask incredulously. They hesitantly take the slices from Mr. Puppet. The two of them take a bite of the pizzas, and their bodies instantly start to glow,

"Eat the rest of the pizza!" Mr. Puppet orders them, "That way you'll have your powers longer!" Freddy and Bonnie shove the rest of their slices down their mouths, and their bodies glow even more until all of their fur has been colored with glowing gold in the most random, but, accidental shout out to _Dragon Ball Z_ ever, before that show even aired in America, no less!

Freddy and Bonnie look at their bodies in shock,

"We-we're _golden!" _Freddy gasps. He and Bonnie jump, only to stay in the air.

"Super powers? This rocks!" Bonnie cheers, "Let's go save Chica!" Freddy and Bonnie pick up Mr. Puppet and begin to fly in the direction where the pirate ship had gone, in either the stupidest or the awesomest pizza commercial ever conceived.

-DRAMATIC FADEOUT-


	3. Chapter 3

The screen fades back to show a towering land mass the shape of a fox skull in the middle of some ocean. Foxy's ship is on the shore, and a thunderstorm just happens to be raging, with bolts of lightning and cracks of thunder driving home the point that the island is supposed to be _really scary! _The camera zooms closer to the gaping mouth of the fox head, and Foxy, his nephews and niece, and the still tied up Chica are shown to be inside.

"Let me _go _you jerks!" Chica screams, "What do want with me?"

"You'd make a perfect addition to Uncle Foxy's pirate crew!" Moxie sneers.

"But why?" Chica groans.

"Because you're a feisty one," Foxy replies. The crew carry Chica up some stairs to an area filled with treasure chests and mountainous piles of gold and jewels, almost drowning the screen in yellow and other bright colors; by now you've become sick of the color gold. Foxy and his mates throw Chica to the ground and stare her down. "All this wealth and more will be shared with you if you become part of me pirate crew!" Foxy declares, waving his hook around the cavern.

Chica briefly attempts to squirm out of the rope and the actress delivers the next line with a surprising amount of heart:

"I've never, _ever _cared about money, or gold, or jewels... I only care about my _friends!_ Now, let me go before my friends get here!" Even though the animation is pretty bad, at least the voice acting spices things up a bit. Compared to what you've had to watch with your nephew, the voice acting is surprisingly good. You're getting off track...

Foxy and his relatives cackle once more, and Chica hangs down her head in defeat. The scene shifts to show the Golden Freddy and Bonnie (Bonnie was carrying Mr. Puppet) flying over the water towards the fox skull island. Their bodies begin to flicker back and forth from the glowing gold to their regular colors.

"Oh _no, _the pizza's _digesting!" _Freddy cries,

"Then let's kick it up a notch!" Bonnie says, and the two fly faster. (Alright, it wasn't so much flying as it was the background moving and the characters posing as if they were flying, with no part of their bodies moving except their mouths.) Meanwhile, Boxy, the nephew with the bag over his head, puts an eyepatch over Chica's eye,

"Is it time for the initiation?" he asks his uncle timidly.

"You bet, me boy! I think what this lass needs is a taste of what it's like to be a pirate, let's take her back to the Jolly Vixen!" Chica doesn't attempt to resist when they pick her up and begin to leave the cavern. They all stop when they hear some kind of war cry in the distance. Suddenly, Golden Freddy and Bonnie with Mr. Puppet fly through one of the eyes of the island.

They stand in front of Foxy and his minions proudly, and the glowing gold fades from Freddy and Bonnie's bodies completely. Foxy and his goons stare at the three in shock,

"How did you find this place?!" Foxy gasps,

"It doesn't matter," Freddy states, "Now, give us back Chica!"

"My heroes..." Chica sighs with a dreamy expression on her face. Foxy and his minions look down solemnly,

"Davy Jones! We just wanted to be invited to Chica's stinking birthday party..." Proxy grunts,

"And since we weren't," Moxie adds, "We decided to invite her to join our pirate crew to get back at you." Freddy, Bonnie, and Mr. Puppet fold their arms.

"We would've invited you if you guys weren't jerks all the time!" Freddy points out. Following some silence and sappy music, Foxy unties Chica, who rushes back to her friends,

"I suppose I wasn't thinking clearly," The pirate fox chuckles.

"Well, even if you don't like us, there's nothing wrong with being more _polite," _Bonnie states. Foxy and his minions look back up,

"We-we're sorry," Foxy apologizes, making you wince a little. _If only they'd say sorry to me! _you think, and you can feel a little anger welling up inside you.

"My friend, admitting your faults is the first step in making amends," Mr. Puppet says to Foxy optimistically. Chica, who seems to have already gotten over the trauma of being kidnapped, informs the others:

"The night's still young, let's all go back to the pizzeria and have fun together!" the others cheer in agreement, and they get back on the pirate ship, which takes off into the night sky. The scene shifts once again back to the show stage, where Freddy, Bonnie, and Chica return their spots; Foxy and his nephews slip back into the Pirate Cove, and Mr. Puppet crawls back into his box.

The magical animated sparkles sweep across the screen one more time, everything returning to live-action. The camera pans out to the parking lot of the pizzeria, where the sun is rising and small packs of families begin to walk towards the building... You come to the conclusion that while the cartoon itself is harmless, there are so many things about the pizzeria you may have come to accept, but the children the whole Fazbear brand is for will have whatever magic there is ruined for them.

_VOICES:_

Freddy Fazbear: John Doe

Bonnie: Barry Gordon

Chica: Tara Charendoff

Foxy: Clancy Brown

Mr. Puppet: Mark Hamill

Proxy, Moxie, and Boxy: Cree Summer

Woah, woah, wait a second! Did you see the names Clancy Brown and Mark Hamill? You loved Clancy Brown in _Highlander, _and you were wondering why Foxy sort of sounded like the Kurgan! But, was that _the _Mark Hamill as Mr. Puppet?! You didn't even recognize him! A smile crosses your face, and you decide you would love to see Clancy Brown and Mark Hamill do more voice work. Also, that Tara Charendoff girl was quite good, maybe she's done other work?

**Um, what did you think? In my opinion, Foxy was the best part. That was only the first half of the pilot, there's another episode that would've played after the commercials. I'm not sure where that one is, you'd think the other half would be attached to the first half! Uh, I think I'll ask around and see if anyone has the second half. If you want, I'll show it to you, too. I understand completely if you're burned out, I'm just collecting this and other Freddy Fazbear ****memorabilia for... I don't know, nostalgia, maybe? **

**Heh, I'm just a sucker for anything Fazbear related. I know what you must be thinking: _Man, this guy's crazy! With his position and the things he's seen, why is he swooning over rare and expensive merchandise about them? _I just can't help it, you should've seen how things were years ago, and-uh- then you'd understand the way I feel.**


End file.
